Thursday, December 6, 2007

EVOLUTION = UPWARDS AND FORWARDS


Well folks, ALL good things come to those who wait and constantly remind God that His help will be needed. Finally gotten my job offer and its good with lotsa training and potential for a not-so young but very ambitious bobo to make a mark quickly and efficently. The oddest thing is that when it happened, I was so stunned, I sent the news to a couple of pple and switched off me phone. Remained stunned till i got home, had a nice bowl of 'chinese' (the local version, which is indomie+turkey+a carton of juice), slept and woke to hear my pals good news as well and all of a sudden, THIS WORLD IS FABOLOUS!!!!
Kinda hurts that I had to lose my gf before this happened (should i call and tell her? F@CK NO!!!) but I did ask for a sign from God about that relationship and it doesn't get clearer than the gal breaking up with you over a blog?!!! (a moment of silence here for my grieving heart...okay, e do)
Been rocking to my guys, P-Square and their new album and its awesome (just flipped back to the beginning of the album again...No one be like you omon, u heartbreaker u-lol). OMG!!! Now, its "Game Over' playing and YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!! THIS JOB IS OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRR!!!
By the way, since this is my leave day and I am at work already, what does that tell you about me...a slave, a brainwashed grunt, a workaholic, or just a dude who loves his job despite the obstacles management puts in front of him (like low pay, loooooooooong hours and no soft, comfortable bed located in that back office no one visits)

Monday, December 3, 2007

KRYPTONITE AND ROACHES; A SUPER BEINGS NIGHTMARES


Good day all. well, i'm back and ranting again (Unbiased, bloody boo sucks to u). This morning, i had to contemplate what choice even happened over the weekend till the point i stepped into the office.
Is there a story in my daily walk to work (i'm cool like dat, when i rhyme like...fat?!); i mean, should i really go nito details of how i imagine i am some mutant with magnetic/flame/ice powers which i use to destroy Ajose Adeogun strt especially when cars don't slow downat the pedestrian crossing (blasted street gets destroyed everyday by me and yet its still there the next day...must have quick regeneration powers..yeah!!!)
Maybe, i should talk about how, once i get the opportunity, i'm goin to go paradiving from as high up as possible and so fulfill my dreams of flying and pissing in midair (the sanity of that second desire is a bit questionable but so wat?). I mean, i'd be so high up, it would be d ultimate trip (my face is really bright and happy thinkin about this...and my boss is probably wondering y?!! back to dull mode right sharp!!)
NAAAAWWWW!!! let me combine my dream sof being different, a mutant with some serious arse kicking powers with events over the weekend. lets see, superman, the man of steel, can fly so fast, he can break the time barrier; he can breathe for days in the depths of space without xtra oxygen (bloody showoff...bet he can fart for days too). The dude can squeeze a coal into a diamond with his bare hands (the South African De Boers won't like that o) and as for his invulnerability, well he IS the man of steel, which is y its crying shame an itsy bitsy green rock can do so much damage to that overgrown boyscout! I mean, its so...so...fruity that a GREEN piece of rock could destabilise a whole supes? I mean, shit, I knew he would have issues in bed (if u think about the physics of a dude like him shagging, you'd know it just ain't possible) but a green rock?!!
However, God does like a good joke which is y He made sure that despite my huge frame and undauntable spirit, i am cowered by bugs, namely soldier ants and cockroaches!!. Since u never really c soldier ants inlagos, i am left with roaches. Dear Lord, I know u made them but i pray, between the flies and the mosquitoes, there are enuff bad things out there so smiting roaches from the face of he planet ain't such a bad idea. I HATE them with an overwhelming passion and lets face it pips, the sight of a roach flying is the ugliest thing ever! it's especially bad cos roaches have the habit of flying towards ur face, even in the dark, which was the lowest of lows for me this weekend. I was reading on a novel on me phone right, and next thing I knew, something dropped on my face, partially covering my mouth!!! My faster than normal (panic inspired) speedy reflexes took over and i swept the thing off and 2 seconds later, by the light of my phone, I saw a huge roach fly off my face and hit the floor running...I went BALLISTIC!!!! I screamed dat good ol' cuss word in a way best described as "PASSIONATE", froze a bit more, then ran to wash my face, all while still repeating d cuss word to myself, like some sort of mantra!! scrubbed my face, lips, even brushed twice and I still had goose bumps on my skin. Thinking about last night, I still get the shivers even while at work and I can still feel the hairy effing legs on my mouth (Freaksho, stop laffing or I swear I'm gonna put something nasty in d bed with u when u crash).
Excuse me but think i need to go wash my mouth and face again...the goose bumps are backm right now and the sense of shock!!

Thursday, November 29, 2007

"But I being poor have only my dreams. I have spread my dreams under your feet. Tread softly because you tread on my dreams".

Look, I know this is sappy, especially cos i am a dude, but honestly that is the hardest line ever!!! It resounds of the torture at the heart of every man that declares his love to a woman; eexpressing our fear and our hope (despite contrary evidence) that this time, our fragile hearts (ever so fragile...except for those belonging to edo boys) wouldn't be crushed. I fear, however, that is not the case with yours truly, having eaten the apple and found that the core is quite bitter. No problem though, as they say, "something this good, wasn't meant to last" (hurts quite a lot tho and this is 3 days later o)!

Moving on, have a song rocking my world, which of course will probably be the theme song for this very sad, sad, movie..its called 'Always' by Saliva tho my emotions are not that destructive...but I can dig it (LOL).

Aaahhh..music; surcease for my weary soul. Think I will destroy my brain cells and ear drums in the process sha but the heck, its worth it to lose yourself in the music.

She was...everything...

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Work Like a Donkey and Earn Like a Monkey=Peanuts!!!

Let's see, woke up not angry or upset for the first time in ages; think it was that little rant of yesterdays; it kinda released some of the pressure in me so the dude is good. Also, i did something this morning that's gonna make me smile ALL day: called my baby in Ghana and sang 'You and I' by Jason Mraz to her this morning and it did my heart good to hear her clear laughter from across a thousand miles (guys, even if we do NOt wish to get married now, I tell you there are few things in life that makes as much sense as being in love-lol).

Today's a Tuesday and I am dressed in combat fatigues, a yellow crested top and a pair of slippers. Coupled with my jutting messiah beard, i must say i definitely DO NOT look the part of the team Leader of a risk management section of a major destination inspection company-lol and i must confess, i feel so goooooood flirting the edges of what is acceptable and not. always feel good dancing on the edge; in fact, i believe i thrive on pressure as it brings out the true me (hardworking, quick out-of-the-box thinker that i am) as opposed to the regular me that has gotten his work so smoothly organised, he dozes off while starin at the monitor (also dodgin behind the monitor so the Ops manager won't see him-lol). honestly, i love my job (makes me feel good when I catch a bad guy trying to do something illegal and I report them to the Custom's authorites) but seriously HATE this company.

They are white bastards one and all and behave like they are superior to the blacks (in my country o, come c me c trouble-lol). I ain't a racist but damnit, think i know how it feels to be one thanx to these morons who run this company and clear millions of dollars on a monthly basis but pay a pittance (not kidding, it IS a pittance and I am still higher paid than others-70k flat as they hire only cntract staff...smart bastards). You know, thinkin of them is gonna get me riled up again so i think i will desist and start work now. Afterall, the motto here is 'work like a donkey, earn like a monkey' and always remember, monkeys earn PEANUTS!!

Monday, November 26, 2007

Soul Music...

There are music listeners and then there are music lovers...then there are people like me whose every moment is defined by the Music. Never really appreciated how important it was to me until i met someone whose passion for music was at par with mine..now, i no longer fight the tidepool of emotions it casts in my life.

Where should we start, hmmm....Everything by Lifehouse, where a man declares his soul belongs to the girl by his side, 'how can i, stand here with you, and not be moved by you';
perhaps Faraway by Nickleback is more to your taste, you romantic soul, or perhaps you are an intellectual, then Jason Mraz's You and I is more your thing, clever yet passionate; or perhaps your heart is crushed wherein Bon Jovi's Its My Life (VERY good therapy this...experience and all, u know) should bring you back from the edge of despair but if you do choose to flounder, then What Hurts The Most by Rascal Flatts should help you wallow in your despair; maybe you are in denial, try It's Not Over by Chris Daughtry (really excellent)...th etruth is, I could go on and on, tabling an emotion and the accompanying soundtrack but the what the hell, I would never stop.

I remember ALL my breakups, heartaches, joys, sorrows and its all because of the music. I remember Chioma (She's a Bitch..Missy Elliot); I remember Tosin (She's All I Ever Want..Ricky Martin); I remember Busola (Die Without You-P.M. Dawn); heck, I even remember Shade (I'm Trapped by Colonel Abrams or someone like that..can't remember but that girl was a blackhole alright); how can i forget Folake (Kim by Eminem); or Lola (Gold Digger by Kanye West); Lolade (Always Be My baby-Mariah Carey), etc..

Now as for my baby, we met thanks to Nickleback's (book them down for the wedding) Faraway; then she really opened my eyes to even more in the world of music and before you know it, she owned me. She's my purpose, my everything; light of my life, the only thing that's right. She's my Cleopatra, Joan of Arc, my Aphrodite...When i think of her in my dark days, i wanna scream out loud Somebody Save ME and even better, Because of you. All those songs make sense thanks to her; heck, even Fergie's Big Girls Don't Cry makes sense (especially during that fight-lol).

She's the music; she's my soul; my petite dynamo, moi cherie...my everything

Sunday, November 25, 2007

Murder, murder....

MURDER..RED RUM...As a physical reality, it might not be possible but as a mental concept, the thought of it is quite attractive. My targets are of course some of the flatmates I have, of which if I did frag their arses, it would be a boon to humanity in general, especially...well, no names here but i WILL give them some form of identity by their habits.
Lets start with the moocher, a delta based hagfish (or a remora..still not sure), whose only desire in this life is to be a parasite, draining money, food and giving back nothing except rude remarks, BO and irritating comments like when u enter the house, late at nite, still carrying ur work bag, he'll say, 'oh! u r bak' and u look at him, tired, hungry and all u want to do is ram ur fist down his throat!
next is a midget, codenamed 'lumberjack'. he is so called cos this guy saws wood while he sleeps to the extent he woke everyone in d room one night and they actually had to kick him awake. he's also a dirty, filthy pig with the annoying habit of hanging up dirty clothing (they have an acrid, biting odour if you smll them) in the same closet as others' clean clothing. He doesn't eat much but makes up for it with copious amounts of smoking and drinking, so i guess that balances out.
Next character is called the warlord. nothing much to say about this dude really except he has to stop being a hypocrite, u know. He bunked his runs for a week and spenta large part of it shagging the lass but turns around and acts all holier-than-thou. he eats like a black hole as well and sleeps like a bear in winter. mustn't mention if you crash in d same room with him, gas masks r nt inclusive, which is a great pity cos u would spend most of the night inhaling what his innards smell like when reduced to gas (flatulence CAN be treated abeg o)
i could go on and on about all this but i feel much better already, having gotten rid of some of the venom built up over the weekend. I can now ay they also have their good points...except for the hagfish!!!