Monday, December 3, 2007

KRYPTONITE AND ROACHES; A SUPER BEINGS NIGHTMARES


Good day all. well, i'm back and ranting again (Unbiased, bloody boo sucks to u). This morning, i had to contemplate what choice even happened over the weekend till the point i stepped into the office.
Is there a story in my daily walk to work (i'm cool like dat, when i rhyme like...fat?!); i mean, should i really go nito details of how i imagine i am some mutant with magnetic/flame/ice powers which i use to destroy Ajose Adeogun strt especially when cars don't slow downat the pedestrian crossing (blasted street gets destroyed everyday by me and yet its still there the next day...must have quick regeneration powers..yeah!!!)
Maybe, i should talk about how, once i get the opportunity, i'm goin to go paradiving from as high up as possible and so fulfill my dreams of flying and pissing in midair (the sanity of that second desire is a bit questionable but so wat?). I mean, i'd be so high up, it would be d ultimate trip (my face is really bright and happy thinkin about this...and my boss is probably wondering y?!! back to dull mode right sharp!!)
NAAAAWWWW!!! let me combine my dream sof being different, a mutant with some serious arse kicking powers with events over the weekend. lets see, superman, the man of steel, can fly so fast, he can break the time barrier; he can breathe for days in the depths of space without xtra oxygen (bloody showoff...bet he can fart for days too). The dude can squeeze a coal into a diamond with his bare hands (the South African De Boers won't like that o) and as for his invulnerability, well he IS the man of steel, which is y its crying shame an itsy bitsy green rock can do so much damage to that overgrown boyscout! I mean, its so...so...fruity that a GREEN piece of rock could destabilise a whole supes? I mean, shit, I knew he would have issues in bed (if u think about the physics of a dude like him shagging, you'd know it just ain't possible) but a green rock?!!
However, God does like a good joke which is y He made sure that despite my huge frame and undauntable spirit, i am cowered by bugs, namely soldier ants and cockroaches!!. Since u never really c soldier ants inlagos, i am left with roaches. Dear Lord, I know u made them but i pray, between the flies and the mosquitoes, there are enuff bad things out there so smiting roaches from the face of he planet ain't such a bad idea. I HATE them with an overwhelming passion and lets face it pips, the sight of a roach flying is the ugliest thing ever! it's especially bad cos roaches have the habit of flying towards ur face, even in the dark, which was the lowest of lows for me this weekend. I was reading on a novel on me phone right, and next thing I knew, something dropped on my face, partially covering my mouth!!! My faster than normal (panic inspired) speedy reflexes took over and i swept the thing off and 2 seconds later, by the light of my phone, I saw a huge roach fly off my face and hit the floor running...I went BALLISTIC!!!! I screamed dat good ol' cuss word in a way best described as "PASSIONATE", froze a bit more, then ran to wash my face, all while still repeating d cuss word to myself, like some sort of mantra!! scrubbed my face, lips, even brushed twice and I still had goose bumps on my skin. Thinking about last night, I still get the shivers even while at work and I can still feel the hairy effing legs on my mouth (Freaksho, stop laffing or I swear I'm gonna put something nasty in d bed with u when u crash).
Excuse me but think i need to go wash my mouth and face again...the goose bumps are backm right now and the sense of shock!!

9 comments:

Freaksho said...

kryptonite is gay? really?
this from a person whose weaknesses include what stephen king referred to as 'a case of the dribblys'?

fantasy queen said...

got goose pimples all over thinking of roaches...theres this song form sec sch 'nobody likes me, eveybody hates me, i'm gonna eat cockroach, bite out the head and suck all the yamayama(spell dat right?)i'm gonna eat cockroach. now that song grossed me out, but i'd sing it out lound at home when i was angry, and it always made me recieve a hug from my mom.lol'
maybe i might just sing it for my boss today...

ps. ajose adeogun?i'm good at investigating, might just figure who u are

fantasy queen said...

got goose pimples all over thinking of roaches...theres this song form sec sch 'nobody likes me, eveybody hates me, i'm gonna eat cockroach, bite out the head and suck all the yamayama(spell dat right?)i'm gonna eat cockroach. now that song grossed me out, but i'd sing it out lound at home when i was angry, and it always made me recieve a hug from my mom.lol'
maybe i might just sing it for my boss today...

ps. ajose adeogun?i'm good at investigating, might just figure who u are

Supergirl said...

Fantasy queen, its "im gonna eat FRIED Coackroaches" Neo, how about that? lol!

sessumahru said...

hey fantasy queen, do u honestly know that in my fragile state, that is one sick song!!! was tellin my pal that all dis is the fault of that nefarious villian, cockroach man (pause for the mingled gasp of dismay and looks of awe at my detective powers), who is out to traumatize all superheroes everywhere.

freaksho, u FUCK-LOL!!! kryptonite is gay duuuuuuuuuude, nyah, nyah!!

supergirl, babe, i wanted to say get a phone quick so i can call u and tell i got another job in person abbe..bebe...babble??? babe:)

fantasy queen said...

yeah man, thats sick...

supergirl...fried cockroah? now why does the raw thing sound more appealing.

sessumahru said...

people, people...roaches, coaches...don't know what else rhymes with roaches but bet it ain't good-lol; whatever the case may be, "DEATH TO ALL ROACHES" in any form, even the wax-works approach, tho it smells (hey flexigal, tres disgusting, yeah-lol) !!!

Onome said...

trust me wen i say freaksho isnt d only one laughing dude(rolmao).....do u know my fear.....TURKEYS???? I DETEST THEM!!

incoherent said...

roflmao. i so no how to get u now!!!BEWARE NEO!!! i'm coming 4 ya!